Mmm...Pie

In heaven there are pies
High above the sky
I aim for a field free of cries.
There I can eat piles of fries
with no means to measure,
the circumference of my thighs.

And pies.

And if we’re lucky, there’ll be guys.
Both made of chocolate
and enwrapped with a red bow tie.

In heaven there’ll be Pies.



In hell, the elliptical trainer does wait.
At it’s Gate.
And I can’t afford to be late.
As my Pilate's instructor does charge,
a non-nominal rate.

Neutral! Imprint! Mobilize your pelvic floor!
Does she not see my anguish galore?


In hell the exercise ball will inflate
Ready for its unsuspecting bait,
Crunch, Oblique, Core, and Sit-up Straight!
In hell I think,
My 5 lbs free-weights will sink to the floor.
And in hell the scale will announce
it’s edict over loud-speaker pronounced,
my weight.




But (Heaven) I am told,
is an unimaginable sight to behold,
There may we all attain,
A house with SOLD by our name.