Once upon a time, long, long ago, in the far away land of California, this woman met this man and got married. So then they decided (hopefully after getting married) to have a few kids! Hey, guess what! I happened to be one of them! Not the first one though... The first kid is sorta like the first pancake, anyway. It never quite comes out right...
Yeah, yeah. Sure enough, a birthday doth approach. On the wonderful day.. of the first of May.. I was born.. on a pile of hay. OK. That's bullshit. I was born in Kaiser hospital sometime in the middle of the night, I think. I asked my Mom and she doesn't remember. Must've been one special night, huh? Or day? Guess I'll never know. I'd like to think it was in the middle of the night and the hospital drugged her up so much that she couldn't possibly remember the time. It would also explain a hell of a lot of my problems (if you know what I mean...).
Alright. Thanks Mom for birthing me. Thanks world, for putting up with me. I'm shamelessly asking for people to wish me lots and lots of happy birthdays and to please just make my fucking day, because I absolutely LOVE birthdays. I'm not one of the people that hates them because I'm a year older. I really just love my birthday.
So, I would rather not mention how old I'm gonna be, but I'm old enough to drink, so that's all that matters. Oh, and if you paid attention to the little bogus hay poem, you'd know that it's not tonight, but by the time some of you read this, it'll probably be Thursday the 1st, or even later, so I figured posting it tonight was a good plan.
P.S. For anyone that would like to send gifts, feel free to email me and I'll give you an address where you can send expensive gifts, cards with cash, balloons, flowers, etc. I absolutely love getting presents. Doesn't everyone?
P.P.S. Admit it. I was one CUTE little girl. And I don't care if you think I'm a bitch for cutting one of my sisters out of the picture. It's my damn birthday.
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