Dare I say It?

I suppose I should start this post off with a little bit of explanation. I haven't been posting very often for the past month and yes, there's a reason. Not to worry, I haven't run away and joined the circus (yet) or dyed my hair purple and electric green, shaved half of it off and tattooed the anarchy symbol on my forehead to join some crazy cult in the depths of the tunnels of Paris.

Everyone has their own lame special reason for blogging. Some people are extremely funny (or think they are) and choose to share that with the world. Some people are constantly whining (those have to be the worst types of blogs and I avoid them at all cost). Some people are emotional and needy. Some write blogs so that they can keep their friends and or family posted on the happenings going on in their lives, while others start one just to be able to write about things that are meant to be kept secret from them. My blog varies.

When I first started writing, it was a place for me. A place to sort of rant and write. A place to hide from the world and be able to speak completely freely. My little diary. I had no idea I would accumulate readers, or that people would actually give a shit about what I had to say. I honestly didn't care if people noticed it or didn't, because I meant it when I said this was meant to just be a place for me to write whatever I felt like. I've been keeping journals since I was a preteen, so when I wandered into blog world, I was fascinated by how many other people opened up their lives for the world to take a peek in, and I thought "Eh, what the hell. Why not?" I like the idea of people peeking into my diary and giving me their opinions and feedback.

Not too many of you have been reading my blog since the beginning, but most of you have been reading it long enough to know a lot about me. I'm not a girl that's easily summed up in 100 words or less. I guess if I had to give a quick summary of myself, I wouldn't be able to, so I'm not even going to pretend to try. I do know that it's hard to reach my heart. Well, not extremely hard to reach it, but extremely hard to penetrate the wall that I've built so strongly around it. Many have tried and many have failed. I'm starting to sort of ramble and I'm sure you're wondering what any of this has to do with why the hell I've been missing. Maybe you've already put it together... But let me quickly run back to what I mentioned before. This blog is pretty much a place where I write about what's on my mind. Obviously something has been on my mind so much that I haven't been able to write about anything else at all... So let me take a deep breath a kind of just let it out so I can get on with my normal writing and stop feeling like I'm holding back on a huge chunk of my life. The only reason I haven't written about it is because I was afraid of judgment and what people would think. But you know what? Fuck it. I've never intentionally hurt or been mean to anyone in my entire life. Hopefully my karma is good enough at this point in my life that I won't have to regret speaking freely in a forum that's supposed to be friendly. Anyway, this is my diary. Right?

Simply Curious Girl has been bitten by a bug. Bitten. Smitten. And so it is written... I am completely and utterly in, dare I say it? No...can't... I have indeed become interested someone that has captured my heart. It's become difficult to concentrate on work, writing, and even sleeping. I spend countless hours sending instant messages, emails and talking on the phone. It's almost like being a middle school girl, all over again. I get the butterflies in my stomach that make me have to catch my breath, and an electric surge that rushes through my veins when we speak. When I wake up in the morning, I rush to my phone and send a text message saying "good morning" and I talk on the phone every night until my eyes sag and grow so heavy that I can't keep them open anymore. My family watches me giggle on the phone and twirl my hair while I bite my lower lip and grin, talking for hours on end. "You hang up first." "No, you." "I'm not hanging up until you do..." "Well, I'm not hanging up..." "Come on I have to get up early tomorrow!" "So hang up!" "You first..." Ah. I do believe I'm hopelessly in... Dare I say it?