OK. Let me start this post off by saying over the past few months (the ones that I actually posted), my blog went from fun/funny, posts, to a little bit more personal and sappy. Sometimes I need the outlet to vent and get some feedback on my complicated and sometimes extremely overwhelming life. This is the last 'personal' post I think I'm going to write for some time. Not at all because it's not what does or does not sell, but because I actually have my drive to write back, and while I was on my Saturday morning jog this morning, my mind was racing with things to write about. I really missed the flowing words that used to come so naturally to me.
I've always considered myself a "Miss Independent". If you don't understand what I mean, exactly by that, I'll explain. In my humble opinion, Miss Independent is the type of woman that feels like she can get by just fine on her own. I've never really needed a best friend or a man to complete me, or make me feel like my opinions meant something. I don't need backup when I believe in something and I don't need reassurance that I'm making the right decision. I do often struggle with being a more independent-type-woman, because it means staying pretty busy. Very busy, actually.
Human nature is wanting some kind of companionship. Human nature is calling someone when you're excited about something or proud of an achievement or accomplishment. This is no way saying that I have no friends, at all. I do have plenty of friends, but the amount of close, personal friends are extremely few and far between. I have a feeling that this stems from my childhood. This is a subject I've touched on before, so it doesn't need much explaining. If you haven't been reading this blog for a long time, or you have, but you overlooked this post, you should read it to get an idea. It explains a hell of a lot about the person that is, Simply Curious Girl.
It's obvious that I don't often open my heart and let someone in. When I do though, I do it wholeheartedly. Its not easy to do, and it leaves me vulnerable to all kinds of pain and heartache. The last three, (and only three) times that I've done it, I've made it very clear before I did, that I'm a very sensitive person. I'm the type of person that needs defending because I can't fight. I'm the type of person that would rather cower and cry than get in someone's face or scream and fight. So this time has been no different. The day I realized I was open and my heart was exposed, I made it advertently clear what kind of woman I am because I didn't want to get hurt. I don't want to hurt... Who wants to hurt?!?!
I'm not quite sure where I'm going with this post, because I can't really explain to myself, let alone anyone else, what's going on in my situation, right now. But I do want to say that my heart has taken a bit of a strike and I just need a little bit of comfort. Last night, I curled up in the fetal position, in bed and cried like I haven't cried in quite some time. My stuffed Eeyore comforted me like he used to when I was a little girl, and I just sobbed until I could sob no more. This morning my eyes are nice and puffy and I'm still dragging a little. OK. A lot... Why do I feel like my world is crashing down around me, and will it go away?
Before I end this post on a sad, shitty note, I really wanted to thank the people that have stood by this blog and stood by me, even through all that time that I was gone. The emails and IMs that I've gotten mean a lot more to me than I let on. So, thank you, everyone. I do accept checks and money orders if you're feeling generous. Oh, and of course PayPal.
Weary, so underrate my jury
fear me, I push pencil fury
standing over you like a mirage
hazard warning
safe sabotage
I underrated my rating
left the court debating
oh sorry baby, were you waiting?
in the clear but still fading
love is real man
so what if the ocean's rocks miss you
and in the beginning, it was actually pretty easy to resist you
but I had to eat the bug that bit you
I'm sitting under you
like a fascade
safe sabotage
tired of not running
ice cream sundaes
with you I actually love Mondays
and face a lot of mundane days
like a crossroad thats only one-way
Safe sabotage...
I generally post once or twice a week when I'm regularly posting, so next week back my regularly scheduled programing. I didn't realize how much I missed my blog until I started typing. I'm most definitely back!!
Showing posts with label updates. Show all posts
Showing posts with label updates. Show all posts
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Monday, November 5, 2007
Those who live by the sword, get shot by those who don't
Anyone remember coming home from school and running to the TV?
When I was a kid, there were only certain times I was allowed to do that. I wasn't allowed to run home and switch it on if something like, Full House, or Punky Brewster was on. No. The only way you could watch TV when you got home at my house is if there was an afterschool special on.
Afterschool Specials were hilarious. Usually they were about some young girl being pressured into smoking by a friend, or having sex. Occasionally someone died, smoked pot, or got pregnant. It was the closest thing to soap operas that we could get. But they were so unrealistic. How many of you have actually had a friend corner you behind the school and tried to make you smoke? "Come on. Smoke! Mwahaha. Smoke!!! Smoke. You're not cool if you don't smoke. You know you wanna be cool like us. (pull in, fake inhale) It's soooo cool." Fact of the matter is, if a kid wants to do something to be 'cool' no amount of these afterschool programs was gonna make that go away. In fact, the more we saw these programs, the cooler we thought these things were. So maybe twice a month we'd rush home and watch someone stick their finger down their throat and lose too much weight and get sick or get caught shoplifting and go to juvenile hall. But, was that a bad thing? Because all of the cool kids were super skinny and had been to Juvie, right?
Another show I really liked, growing up, was Degrassi. The old Degrassi were kids from Canada, a few years older than I was at the time I watched it. They were into young love, and a lot of the same problems the afterschool specials had, but on a more dramatic, entertaining level.
Last night, I was bored and couldn't find anything to watch on TV and to my surprise, I came across Degrassi. When I clicked on it, it wasn't the old Degrassi, it was the new one. I knew there was a new one, and that my younger sister, loved it, so I thought, eh, what's the big deal and sat and watched it. Holy shit, people. Young TV has come a long way. I'm telling you that the new Degrassi covers everything from rape, to handicaps, school shootings (he had to become handicapped somehow), to hard drugs, bulimia, anorexia, lesbians, homosexuals, testicular cancer (wtf), murder, teenage pregnancy, suicide, hit and runs, alcohol, gambling, strippers, teenage soft porn on the internet, sexually transmitted diseases, bi polar disorder, among other issues that kids these days have to deal with. Give me a fucking break. Now, I'm not a psychiatrist or a parent, but if I had a choice whether or not to send my imaginary kid to imaginary Degrassi, I'd rather home school. I think what bothers me the most about this show, is that number one, there's nothing wrong with teaching kids about the dangers of growing up and the pressures that come with it, but when they put it on models, actors and actresses, it becomes glamor to kids. Number two, this is not a kids show! It's like 10 times worse than All my Children. My little sister points out that of all the fucking problems these kids have had, none of them smoke. Now there's an oxymoron for you.
Sooo if you live in Canada, don't let your kids go to Degrassi. Or if you live anywhere else, don't let them watch it, because that show is for young adults, at best.
Update on my twisted life, Snow is probably leading me on. Mad Libs got boring and I stopped writing. I went out yesterday with a woman. No. I'm not a lesbian, but it's fun to pretend sometimes. Don't worry, I'm not leading anyone on, but is there anything wrong with getting a little bit of girl sex? I have a feeling that it comes with more strings than boy sex. We shall see.
So if you're curious about Degrassi, or don't get it where you live, never fear! Simply curious is here! And she has a link for you to watch crazy post traumatic teenagers online! Here you go. Enjoy!
Smooches.
Afterschool Specials were hilarious. Usually they were about some young girl being pressured into smoking by a friend, or having sex. Occasionally someone died, smoked pot, or got pregnant. It was the closest thing to soap operas that we could get. But they were so unrealistic. How many of you have actually had a friend corner you behind the school and tried to make you smoke? "Come on. Smoke! Mwahaha. Smoke!!! Smoke. You're not cool if you don't smoke. You know you wanna be cool like us. (pull in, fake inhale) It's soooo cool." Fact of the matter is, if a kid wants to do something to be 'cool' no amount of these afterschool programs was gonna make that go away. In fact, the more we saw these programs, the cooler we thought these things were. So maybe twice a month we'd rush home and watch someone stick their finger down their throat and lose too much weight and get sick or get caught shoplifting and go to juvenile hall. But, was that a bad thing? Because all of the cool kids were super skinny and had been to Juvie, right?
Another show I really liked, growing up, was Degrassi. The old Degrassi were kids from Canada, a few years older than I was at the time I watched it. They were into young love, and a lot of the same problems the afterschool specials had, but on a more dramatic, entertaining level.
Last night, I was bored and couldn't find anything to watch on TV and to my surprise, I came across Degrassi. When I clicked on it, it wasn't the old Degrassi, it was the new one. I knew there was a new one, and that my younger sister, loved it, so I thought, eh, what's the big deal and sat and watched it. Holy shit, people. Young TV has come a long way. I'm telling you that the new Degrassi covers everything from rape, to handicaps, school shootings (he had to become handicapped somehow), to hard drugs, bulimia, anorexia, lesbians, homosexuals, testicular cancer (wtf), murder, teenage pregnancy, suicide, hit and runs, alcohol, gambling, strippers, teenage soft porn on the internet, sexually transmitted diseases, bi polar disorder, among other issues that kids these days have to deal with. Give me a fucking break. Now, I'm not a psychiatrist or a parent, but if I had a choice whether or not to send my imaginary kid to imaginary Degrassi, I'd rather home school. I think what bothers me the most about this show, is that number one, there's nothing wrong with teaching kids about the dangers of growing up and the pressures that come with it, but when they put it on models, actors and actresses, it becomes glamor to kids. Number two, this is not a kids show! It's like 10 times worse than All my Children. My little sister points out that of all the fucking problems these kids have had, none of them smoke. Now there's an oxymoron for you.
Sooo if you live in Canada, don't let your kids go to Degrassi. Or if you live anywhere else, don't let them watch it, because that show is for young adults, at best.
Update on my twisted life, Snow is probably leading me on. Mad Libs got boring and I stopped writing. I went out yesterday with a woman. No. I'm not a lesbian, but it's fun to pretend sometimes. Don't worry, I'm not leading anyone on, but is there anything wrong with getting a little bit of girl sex? I have a feeling that it comes with more strings than boy sex. We shall see.
So if you're curious about Degrassi, or don't get it where you live, never fear! Simply curious is here! And she has a link for you to watch crazy post traumatic teenagers online! Here you go. Enjoy!
Smooches.
-S
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