Friday, September 26, 2008

A new Adventure in Curious Land....

"I can't believe it!" my mom was screaming. SCREAMING, I tell you. "That's so awesome! First you move away on your own, get into school, and now this! My God, S, who would've thought a year ago, I'd be hearing news like this?!?"
"I know, right?" I was BEAMING. "Ma, I'll get to buy new cute clothes and everything!"
"You know... this is huge, S...," my mother added. "It's gonna change your whole life..."
"I know!" I spouted out happily. "But you know, Ma, I think it's time. That clock was just ticking away and it felt like the time to do something about it."
"Well, you're entirely sure this is what you want, right?" she asked. "Ha ha... it's a little late to turn back now, no?" I laughed. "I took the test, even got a little pee on my hand, and, well, everything says I'm good to go."
"I can't wait to tell all of my friends, and just, oh... oh my God!" she was absolutely gushing.
"I dunno if that's such a great idea, Ma... At least not yet," I suggested. "I think we should make sure it, um, you know. Let's make sure it sticks before we tell anyone not immediate. But I guess you can tell Gab, and gramma.
"God.. They're gonna be so, so happy... To find out that you, my special little girl are gonna have,----" she paused, probably to wipe a tear of elation from her cheek---"a job!!!"

I mean hell, I couldn't believe it either. I even successfully passed the drug screening test, after spilling half of it and clumsily sopping it up off the bathroom floor. Yes, I washed my hands. It was a hell of a relief really. Because the last time I held a steady job was like, ages ago, and I had this stupid fucking boss, who would utter things like, "Make that more better," "irregardless" and my favorite, "for all intensive purposes" which for an average boss would've been fine, but this guy was an attorney, and it was a bit unsettling.

So, I'm going to try to take a little bit of time this evening to write a little bit about this new experience I'm embarking on, but for now, as usual, I'm fucking late. Great way to start the day.


Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Ready or not, here I cum.

Good morning. Salutations, and all that good shit. I have to get this off of my chest while it's still somewhat fresh on my mind, because I think of blog ideas all the fucking time and I manage to either forget about them or lose the 'umph' to write about them once I get home or finally get time to sit at my computer.

Last night, I went on this bizarre cleaning kick at about 1:00am (which is WAY past my bedtime since I get up at 5:30-6:00 every morning to make sure I get to class on time). I must've been delirious or something, because I cleaned my apartment, top to bottom, inside out. I ended up collapsing about about 2:00 (which goes to show you how big my apartment is, as well as how well I clean) and I was seriously, out. I don't think I've ever melted into bed the way I did last night. This isn't what I wanted to write about. See what happens when you try to blog at 6:00am? SO, after my cleaning kick and passing out into a heavenly slumber, I had some of the most a-fucking-mazing sex dreams Ive has since I was 14. Remember pre-teen and early teen year sex dreams? The ones where you actually woke up with your hand between your legs and that nervous feeling that you were going to sit up and your mother would be walking through the door? "Maaaaaaaaaaaa!" Yeah... So I had those last night. Lots of them. Over and over and over again... I was wrenching and twisting and turning and fighting with my sheets all night long. I sleep with about 5 stuffed animals, and by the end of the evening, I only had 2 left on the bed. Even Eyyore jumped ship and I've been molesting Eeyore in my sleep since I was just a wee one. Hot, dirty, unadulterated, (and monogomous believe it or not) fun. (You would think that I'd actually cheat in a dream, but nope.)

Anyway, when I woke up this morning... no... wait... I'm getting ahead of myself here. The final dream I had was extremely vivid. Im sure if I see my neighbors or the woman upstairs, this morning, I'm gonna get some pretty strange looks... It was hot. I was tossed and slammed and flipped and poked and prodded... and, oh my... Where was I? Ah yes... In the dream, I was in a hotel with my "long distance boyfriend". (I'll be amazed if I don't get slammed by the blog of unnecesary quotation marks after this post) And you know how it is. You don't see each other for months, so when you finally do, before you can even have a decent conversation, you have to rip each other's clothes off and at least manage a quickie, or you can't even concentrate on what you're going to do during your visit. So, in the dream, we managed a quickie, that didn't end up being quite so quick, and afterwards, (still dreaming) I got up, walked to the kitchen, (in the dream it was actually my kitchen), drank down a glass of water, walked past the bed, leaned over, clad in nothing but a tee shirt, and kissed him on his sleeping forehead, and walked to the bathroom. I know that some of you're wondering what the hell I'm going on about, but be patient, I'm getting there! I pulled up my tee shirt, sat on the toilet to pee, closed my eyes, and started to fall asleep in my dream. Is that even possible? I have a feeling some of you know where this is going... I'm falling asleep and in the dream, I begin to pee. A warm, relaxing pee, that was both calming and, wait... Huh? Waiiit! Fuck!! Im awake!!! AHHH! I'm peeing!!!! I'm peeing!!! No, no, no, no, no!! I jump up, still peeing, dripping and slipping across the bedroom floor and stumbling to the bathroom, pulling off my little red boyshorts and still half alseep, manage to get them off, (almost... they were dangling from my left foot) trailing pee all over my freshly cleaned apartment floor. I sat on the toilet, dropped my now soaked panties to the floor and peeled my sock off. One wet, sloppy heap on the bathroom floor. Lovely. I shook my head and got up. Washed my hands and arms up to my elbows, walked back to my bed, and felt the sheets, and they were dry. I guess I'd managed to jump up and pee across the bedroom floor insead of on my new matress. I pulled the sheets off anway, dropped them on the floor, and hopped in the shower. I have to say... After such a long crazy night of sex, I am so, so, so tired today. I wonder how I'm going to manage to stay awake in class. I've nodded off twice during this last paragraph, and I know I'm gonna be just a little late for Physics. No more late night snacks before bed.