Friday, September 26, 2008

A new Adventure in Curious Land....

"I can't believe it!" my mom was screaming. SCREAMING, I tell you. "That's so awesome! First you move away on your own, get into school, and now this! My God, S, who would've thought a year ago, I'd be hearing news like this?!?"
"I know, right?" I was BEAMING. "Ma, I'll get to buy new cute clothes and everything!"
"You know... this is huge, S...," my mother added. "It's gonna change your whole life..."
"I know!" I spouted out happily. "But you know, Ma, I think it's time. That clock was just ticking away and it felt like the time to do something about it."
"Well, you're entirely sure this is what you want, right?" she asked. "Ha ha... it's a little late to turn back now, no?" I laughed. "I took the test, even got a little pee on my hand, and, well, everything says I'm good to go."
"I can't wait to tell all of my friends, and just, oh... oh my God!" she was absolutely gushing.
"I dunno if that's such a great idea, Ma... At least not yet," I suggested. "I think we should make sure it, um, you know. Let's make sure it sticks before we tell anyone not immediate. But I guess you can tell Gab, and gramma.
"God.. They're gonna be so, so happy... To find out that you, my special little girl are gonna have,----" she paused, probably to wipe a tear of elation from her cheek---"a job!!!"

I mean hell, I couldn't believe it either. I even successfully passed the drug screening test, after spilling half of it and clumsily sopping it up off the bathroom floor. Yes, I washed my hands. It was a hell of a relief really. Because the last time I held a steady job was like, ages ago, and I had this stupid fucking boss, who would utter things like, "Make that more better," "irregardless" and my favorite, "for all intensive purposes" which for an average boss would've been fine, but this guy was an attorney, and it was a bit unsettling.

So, I'm going to try to take a little bit of time this evening to write a little bit about this new experience I'm embarking on, but for now, as usual, I'm fucking late. Great way to start the day.



  1. Note to self:
    Don't hire SCG's old boss.

  2. How simply marvelous, young lady. And I especially commend you on your hygiene. Excellent good.

  3. Washing hands is a good start. What kind of job do you have that requires you to take a drug-screening test? :-S

    I've never done that in my life and I've worked in some seriously important/security conscious jobs....

  4. Having a job is an evil I haven't had to face.

  5. Golden Showers should be a test for every job. It shows your commitment to the work.

  6. Woo Hoo!! Congrats on the job!! That whole job/money things is sort of important :)

  7. Phew, you had me scared there for a second. I swear I used protection! heh

  8. Protection? Grrrr.....

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  10. Golden showers eh, never had to provide one of them, if I did I would defo fail : (

  11. hey chickie- i read all ur posts- luv em : )

    makes me proud to say that i'm one of those unstable girlfriends of urs!

    and i love you so much!!!!

  12. Angry man, I refuse to answer your comments. I want you to change your profile picture. Until then, I refuse to post photos of my ass. Hear that people? Until Angry Man changes his profile picture back to one we can actually see, then no one gets to see simply curious ass.

    Cissy, why, thank you! I'm actually a tad OCD whe it comes to clean hands. Living in NYC has proven trying...

    Malach, thanks. :)

    Red, most of the jovs in the US require drug testing. My little sister works in a pet store and she had to pee too! Actually a pet supply store...

    Hungry, I hate you. I really hate you.

    C.Rag, I'd be on unemployment for the rest of my life. Are you allowed to cheat on golden shower test? I bet you'd take it for me...

    ROn Stoppable, man, you're SO not kidding. It's terrible when they shut off your cable and internet. I went through ACTUAL withdrawals.

    EA, trying to get me in trouble? Haha!

    Anon, did you know some people are allergic to latex? Actually, some people are allergic to LOTS of stuff. Like, latex, and lotion, and lube, and all that fun shit. People like that have no choice but to go bareback, I suppose.

    Michael, says who? I had to sop up urine in both posts!

    Nicey, I didn't say anything about golden showers. C.rag did. I had to submit a drug test. :)

    Lizzy, you sneaky little bitch. Haha. I'm gonna call you in a few.

  13. got ur message S, my phone died- i'm callin tomorrow- u gotta teach me how to have those kinds of dreams... mama needs some!

  14. omg i am so fargin awesomely tingly and excited for you!!!

  15. A Job!


    What else can I say?

    (Just make sure they have maternity
    leave and abide by it. Congratulations! You're now one paycheck away from another pee-test..Or, not!^_*~wink*)


  16. Lizzy, thinking of you, girl!

    Big Daddy, don't I always?

    Angel, thanks!!! Me too!!!

    Sinfully A, Let's not jinx pregnancy on me just yet. I'm no where NEAR ready for a kid. BITE YOUR TONGUE!!!

  17. My Grandmother worked in a Bakery. My Grandfather was a "Master Baker" (honestly, He belonged on a bowling team called, "The Master Bakers"~~lol!)

    I grew up, loving bakeries; the scents they produced.

    Happy Management..I need to visit Brooklyn soon~wink*


  18. omfg, when i read this, i was thinking - pregnant?