Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Dare I say It?

I suppose I should start this post off with a little bit of explanation. I haven't been posting very often for the past month and yes, there's a reason. Not to worry, I haven't run away and joined the circus (yet) or dyed my hair purple and electric green, shaved half of it off and tattooed the anarchy symbol on my forehead to join some crazy cult in the depths of the tunnels of Paris.

Everyone has their own
lame special reason for blogging. Some people are extremely funny (or think they are) and choose to share that with the world. Some people are constantly whining (those have to be the worst types of blogs and I avoid them at all cost). Some people are emotional and needy. Some write blogs so that they can keep their friends and or family posted on the happenings going on in their lives, while others start one just to be able to write about things that are meant to be kept secret from them. My blog varies.

When I first started writing, it was a place for me. A place to sort of rant and write. A place to hide from the world and be able to speak completely freely. My little diary. I had no idea I would accumulate readers, or that people would actually give a shit about what I had to say. I honestly didn't care if people noticed it or didn't, because I meant it when I said this was meant to just be a place for me to write whatever I felt like. I've been keeping journals since I was a preteen, so when I wandered into blog world, I was fascinated by how many other people opened up their lives for the world to take a peek in, and I thought "Eh, what the hell. Why not?" I like the idea of people peeking into my diary and giving me their opinions and feedback.

Not too many of you have been reading my blog since the beginning, but most of you have been reading it long enough to know a
lot about me. I'm not a girl that's easily summed up in 100 words or less. I guess if I had to give a quick summary of myself, I wouldn't be able to, so I'm not even going to pretend to try. I do know that it's hard to reach my heart. Well, not extremely hard to reach it, but extremely hard to penetrate the wall that I've built so strongly around it. Many have tried and many have failed. I'm starting to sort of ramble and I'm sure you're wondering what any of this has to do with why the hell I've been missing. Maybe you've already put it together... But let me quickly run back to what I mentioned before. This blog is pretty much a place where I write about what's on my mind. Obviously something has been on my mind so much that I haven't been able to write about anything else at all... So let me take a deep breath a kind of just let it out so I can get on with my normal writing and stop feeling like I'm holding back on a huge chunk of my life. The only reason I haven't written about it is because I was afraid of judgment and what people would think. But you know what? Fuck it. I've never intentionally hurt or been mean to anyone in my entire life. Hopefully my karma is good enough at this point in my life that I won't have to regret speaking freely in a forum that's supposed to be friendly. Anyway, this is my diary. Right?

Simply Curious Girl has been bitten by a bug. Bitten. Smitten. And so it is written... I am completely and utterly in, dare I say it? No...can't... I have indeed become interested someone that has captured my heart. It's become difficult to concentrate on work, writing, and even sleeping. I spend countless hours sending instant messages, emails and talking on the phone. It's almost like being a middle school girl, all over again. I get the butterflies in my stomach that make me have to catch my breath, and an electric surge that rushes through my veins when we speak. When I wake up in the morning, I rush to my phone and send a text message saying "good morning" and I talk on the phone every night until my eyes sag and grow so heavy that I can't keep them open anymore. My family watches me giggle on the phone and twirl my hair while I bite my lower lip and grin, talking for hours on end. "You hang up first." "No, you." "I'm not hanging up until you do..." "Well, I'm not hanging up..." "Come on I have to get up early tomorrow!" "So hang up!" "You first..." Ah. I do believe I'm hopelessly in... Dare I say it?


  1. I certainly hope somebody knows just how freaking lucky he is and doesn't screw up the best opportunity of his lifetime!

  2. Congrats!!
    Sorry to see the end (I'm guessing?) of a great blog, but always glad when somebody gets a slice of happiness in their life.

    Take it, run with it, have it and eat it too.

  3. the end?????????? you didn't mean it as the end did you???????

    i think it's so cool you found somebody and you're all in love land but you didn't mean your closing your blog right? it didn't seem like that until i saw that tom wrote that and then it sounded like that to me too. scg don't close it plz.

  4. I don't usually answer comments this quickly, but I have to clear up that I'm not closing my blog. I don't really know where the idea came from, but I'm sorry if it came off that way. I'm not done blogging by a long shot.

    Jay, I certainly hope so, too. That has to be one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me, and I genuinely mean it. Thank you!

    Tombo, not a chance. I love my blog and I love the freedom of expression it gives me. My writing has definitely become a little less frequent, seeing as I had a lot on my plate, but since things are starting to become a little more clear to me, hopefully I'll be blogging a little more often. I'm glad that I got a little slice of happiness, too. I think I deserve it.

    Lucky, haha. Don't worry. Read my answer to Tombo's comment.

  5. So who is this guy? Is he a blogger?

  6. Go on say it you know you want to!
    I only just recently started popping by and havent gone backwards through your blog so know very little about you but its always fun when you're at the stage of being giddy about each other!
    I hope it works out for you and will be popping back to find out!
    GP :0)

  7. Congrats! There is no shame in being in Love. Enjoy it and more power to you!

  8. I have only recenetly got into your blog, so keep it going hun,
    and I don't know ya from a can of beans !!
    Also don't give a feck about what people think about ya or how your judged, just be yourself and keep on doing what you keep on doing.
    Congrats with the romance, I hope it works out for you

  9. Noo!! Really?? *SQUEAL* Oh I remember how is was in the beginning and I am so psyched you are rolling around in it. Have you forgotten to eat? Sleep? Have trouble remembering where you put your keys?

    I'm so glad you are in, er, eh hmm. I won't say it either. Jinx?

    (((hugs))) Glad to see you happy babe.

  10. I really am glad that you are happy !!

  11. I actually remember feeling all the feelings you described at one time.

    Man, that was a long time ago.

    Congrats on finding someone that makes you feel that way.

  12. I am so excited for you. Nothing is more fun than being in love. Except maybe "forbidden" love. :P

    Enjoy it!!!

  13. I'll answer all of these comments when I get home in a couple hours.

  14. ahh, glad you aren't closing it down. :) You are a darn good writer.

  15. I'm flattered, truly.

    But I'm in it only for the sex.

    See you after work.

  16. S- I'm so happy for you. You deserve the best of everything! And may the only pain in your life be champagne! :)

  17. I love "love". I do. I love being in it. I love the thought of it. I love the sound of it. I love the looks, the smiles, the texts, the e-mail, the phone calls, the anticipation . . . I love the happiness. I love the laughter. I just love it. I hope it never ends for you.

    And if something this happy is keeping you from us, then you go girl! He's one lucky man.

  18. Well personally, I think you'd look cool with purple and green hair.

    As for the hopelessly in ... thing. Hooray! That's brilliant - I am nothing other than thrilled for you. Enjoy it, immerse yourself in it, live it and breathe it. Above all else, have fun and revel in the fact that someone you find adorable finds you adorable too.

    I'm sat here smiling for you - I'm really pleased.


  19. If you're really doing the "You hang up first" thing, I'm going to come punch you.
    But, congrats on finding someone!

  20. Just Curious, I guess anything's possible.

    Paradox, I sat and racked my brain for a little bit and still couldn't figure out what GLHF meant. Care to explain?

    Grilled pizza, I really do want to, but I guess it's just not quite time. Is there ever, really a right time though?

    Ron-Stoppable, I'm not ashamed. Actually, not at all. I don't know why it took me so long to get it out of my system. I'm far from shy on this blog, as you can plainly see, but something held me back. I was afraid of the comments for some reason; but everyone is being super cool about it. A lot less nosey than I had first imagined.

    Nicey, as do I. I have a feeling this relationship was meant to be. It sounds kind of tacky, and a little bit cheesy, but I've never clicked with someone so well in my whole entire life.

    Random Moments, forgotten to eat, no. Lost things, yes... Singing in the shower, stupid love songs, *watching* what I eat, more than forgetting to. I know you know how that goes, as well. We're dieting, fools.

    Doc, thank you!

    Mike, I've been in relationships, before. Serious ones, at that. But I can honestly say that I've never had feelings like these. I know I know...I sound full of shit, but it really is the truth. I'm terrified of getting my heart broken...

    A girl, boy and me, ahh, and what made you think this isn't
    ' Forbidden I mean. ;) Nah, just kidding.

    ***OK. I promise I'll answer the rest of you a little bit later. I have a few things to do and I didn't have time to answer everyone, right this minute. I'll be back, though!***

  21. This is so sweet. He must be one hell of a guy to catch you SC. So are you going to tell us about him? Im sure I speak for a bunch of us when I say we want to know more.

  22. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I am hopeless romantice and love this stuff . . .

  23. Tombo, nope. I gave it thought for a minute, about a month ago, but I decided I'm not ready to.

    Moooooog, actually, you're just a side thing, honey. I'm sorry, and I hope your feelings haven't been too hurt. You're late. It's way after 6:00.

    Ann, aww. Thank you! Yeah, gotta admit, I love a good glass of champagne, but not as much as a good glass of wine.

    Jen, bad girl. Overuse of the L word is prohibited at this point in time. Nah. Just kidding. I've never been the kind of person that was anti L word, but I guess for awhile I thought it wasn't in the cards for me, being that I'm so damn weird. You know what I love? I love that he loves that I'm weird.

    Kitty, purple and green would never do my complexion, justice. "revel in the fact that someone you find adorable finds you adorable too" I couldn't have said it better, myself.

    Angry man, beware. I punch back, and we've never *actually* done it like that, or even close to that extent, but I have asked him not to hang up on more than one occasion. If I say, "you hang up first", he'll say, "OK. Good night" and that'll be that, haha. Men.

    Sinead, maybe in time, but not anytime extremely soon. I might post things here and there, but I'm not going to make this blog become one of those 'one track' blogs, that only talks about the same thing in every post. I only made such a big deal in this post because it's been boiling for about a month already, and I couldn't hold it in any longer.

    Malach, I really don't find the post as funny as you do, nor did I mean for it to have you in hysterics, but, uh, good to see you smiling...I guess.

  24. Yipeee! I'm so happy for you! There seems to be a lot a familiarity in your story and my and Angel's relationship. Just enjoy the ride!

  25. Of course you dare say it. Nothing wrong with admitting you're in love. I know I don't comment here very often but I had to comment to say that this is one lucky guy. I really hope he knows what he has.

  26. He knows what he has :-)

    SCG: :-*

  27. If love has come your way grab a hold of it and do not let go. Congrats

  28. I'm reading and thinking you need to watch Enchanted. it's the perfect "I'm in L" movie and you'll get lots of songs running through your head and you'll want to sing them in public as you dance in the park.

  29. It's a great ride, the world of "L". Grab on, hold on tight and enjoy the feeling. Good luck, he's one lucky dude.

  30. SCG--that is one lucky fella! You sure are a catch!

  31. Awww, that's great! I'm so happy to hear that you've got good things going on. Have fun!

  32. I guess that this means that there is no hope for me afterall. You deserve some love. If anyone deserved a big dose of happyness in their life its you.

  33. Bumble, haha, you say it like I'm getting married or having a baby. Thanks though. :P

    Glugster, you and Angel had been reading each other's blogs and talking for a pretty fair amount of time, before you really had crushes on each other and met. The way we started talking is a little bit different, and I don't really want to say in a public forum, but you're right. There are a lot of similarities. I remember how happy I was for the two of you when you started seeing each other.

    Alex, I do know there's nothing wrong with it, but I feel like once it's said there's no more of the crushy, exciting feeling. I really want this feeling to last as long as possible. It's one of the best feelings I've ever had in my life.

    Anon, you sure as hell better. Come here, you... :-*

    Beach bum, I have no intention of letting it go anywhere. I'm going to invest in heavy duty, Velcro.

    A girl, I actually really wanted to see this movie when it was in theaters. It looks adorable. My God, that song went on, forever, haha. I'll have to check it out.

    Dave, Like I told beach bum, I'm not letting go. I'm investing in Velcro for when my arms get tired.

    Scott, thank you!

    Colonel, it's about time something goos came my way, huh? I've had so much shit happen over the past year that I thought things were just going to continue on that downward spiral. It feels good, and almost unreal to have something so perfect popping into my life.

    Lurker, sometimes I wonder if you're someone I know. I've never seen anyone but him type happiness with a Y. Maybe you're him and if you are, you better cut it out or I'm telling your boyfriend.

  34. i think its really cute that he commented. doesn't look like anyone else noticed but its soooo sweet. do you worry about what you can and can't write now since he reads your blog? i think it would suck to have a boyfirend reading my diary. i'd worry about saying stupid things or just not be able to say what i wanted. what does he think of your blog and the other stuff you've said and talked about?

  35. I KNEW IT! Okay, well, I suspected and hoped! HUGS, Girl. Fucking stoked.

  36. My STDs make me feel like this too.

  37. Lucky, to be honest, it took me a little by surprise that he left me a comment here. I guess I don't mind him reading, though. I guess the best part about starting a relationship openly, and completely honestly, is that he knows me inside... I don't have to worry about him reading what I'm writing in my blog, because I honestly haven't kept anything from him. I think being completely honest is the best foundation for starting something that's actually going to last.

    Dyna, you SO did NOT. Haha, I've never talked like that in my life. I wish you'd send me a damn invite to your page. I don't know why the hell you changed it to private.

    C.Rag, are you calling him an S.T.D.? Anyway, I thought you were over the whole herpes thing.

  38. oh my goodness... oh my goddt goodness!!! this is simply awesomely spectacular- i wondered if there was a little more to your comment on my blog about writing about someone you "love" (note: "L" word not specifically used to describe you till you want it to...)!
    what a marbellous post too...

  39. awwwwwwww... go out and multiply ;)
    that's gr8 enjoy!!!

  40. Congratulations! Enjoy it, relish it! Don't take one day of it for granted. I started out with my hubby that way to. We are still madly in love, but since we live together instead of arguing over who is going to hang up first, it is who is going to turn the tv off first. :) Enjoy my dear, enjoy!

  41. "...dyed my hair purple and electric green, shaved half of it off and tattooed the anarchy symbol on my forehead..."

    You haven't? Damn. Ok, not so much the symbol on the forehead, but the tat and dyed hair sounds pretty sexy actually.