Ding Dong the Bitch is Dead

Have you ever had a best friend? Not the kind of best friend you call when you want to go to a movie, or gossip, but the type of friend you know you could call if you murdered someone and needed help to drag the body across your living room floor. I did.

Marie and I met years ago, quite on accident. She had a boyfriend that was friends with mine. I couldn't stand the bitch. I'll never forget our first encounter. It was one of those, "Why the fuck were you talking to my man?" conversations. I remember her having a few friends with her when she confronted me, because I had a reputation for smacking a bitch before I argued. I kind of smirked and thought, I'm getting too old for these games. At the time she was pregnant with twins, that I later became the Godmother for. I'd see her argue with her boyfriend and go ask her if she was OK. She spent the night at my place, a lot and we were pretty much inseparable. When she had her twins, they were the most annoying, yet adorable things I had ever laid my eyes on. I would babysit them, and buy them cute little things. There, began our friendship.

Over the years, she's managed to have 6 children. No. That wasn't a typo. 6 children. Let me add, she really has 7 but her first husband took her oldest. I've been in the delivery room with her for 3 of them. Held her hand, listened to her scream, and took photos of her new child coming into the world. She often forgot my birthday and Christmas, but I never forgot hers or her children's. She walked over me often, and borrowed, never returned money. When her last child was born, I provided everything that child needed. I bought her a crib, a bassinet, a swing, clothes, diapers, bottles, formula, a car seat, a stroller, a baby bath, and more. Don't ask me why I did this. What I do for people that I love is pretty much unconditional. I went without often, so she could have. So her children could have.

The last straw pretty much hit me a couple of months ago. Her husband's niece needed a birthday gift and I was out running around trying to find one. I ended up shelling out my own money, of course being told I'd be paid back, but never was. I asked her why she was doing all of this for a kid she didn't even know, and we'd been friends for years and she didn't even get me a fucking card. She then said something that's been ringing in my ears since the day she said it. "Well, you're not family." I let it roll off of me when it was said but it hurt me. Stung actually, since I'd blown off my own family affairs on more than one occasion to help her with those fucking kids.

I stopped going over there as often, but I felt so bad for all these kids that she has and can't really take care of. I promised the children, months ago that I would get them Halloween costumes and take them trick-or-treating this year. I managed to get every single kid a costume. Since most of you that read this blog are parents, you know that kids' costumes aren't cheap. Over the past couple of weeks, I've pretty much decided I didn't want to be friends with her in the same sense, but I had promised the children we'd go on Halloween, and I always keep my promises. This morning she called me and decided I shouldn't come. Not only shouldn't I come, but she decided she didn't like the Halloween costumes I got, and she was just going to put them in what they wore last year. I didn't even hesitate when I told her to go fuck herself. Well, not in those words. I think my exact words were something to the effect of, "You know what? Keep the Halloween costumes. Burn them. Eat them. Do whatever with them. Fuck the money I spent on them, and you. Fuck your shitty abusive lifestyle, and fuck you." Click.

As I hung up the phone, I burst into tears and almost regretted what I said. Almost. It's over. Years of friendship and being a second mother to her kids. Gone. It was a 2 minute phone conversation. And 10 years of my life just went *POOF*. I won't miss her. I don't want to be her friend. So why the fuck does it hurt so bad? Why am I still crying, and this happened hours ago?

I'm gonna go make a drink, and finish making the cake for my sister's birthday. I made a couple of heart shaped cupcakes, as my celebration of getting rid of Marie. I think I'll go frost it, eat it and cry. There's no place like home...there's no place like home....there's no place like home.