Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Feed me Seymour!

So, I chipped my tooth. I know I mentioned it before, but I had to re-cap (no pun intended).

This morning I woke up still annoyed by the sharpness of my front tooth. I went to the dentist today to have them fix it. Of course they couldn't fix it today, but he did decide to take impressions of my teeth. The assistant comes in with that sticky, icky pink, pasty shit and the tray things for inside my mouth. I don't know who on earth has a mouth big enough that those things actually fit properly in there, but it was awful. So, the assistant tries, and I feel the thick pink, guck making its way down my throat and I gag terribly. He pulls the tray out saying it was a miss, since I have a high palette, whatever the fuck that means. When the dentist came he said, basically that meant I had to have even more guck put into my mouth so he would be the one to do it. He slabs it into the top of my mouth. Still breathing...doing OK....slopping more onto the tray that's going to go into my mouth...OK...I'm fine...I'll be OK....He slides it in, a little rough and I feel him push up on the tray, the pink shit sliding down my throat again. Side note: I normally don't gag when something is in my throat, but this was fucking gross. He pushes me forward, "Breathe from your nose, S. Come on S....uh oh...you OK, S?..." As I gag and choke, I'm swallowing this pink crap that's sliding down my throat and I'm flailing my arms wildly and kicking my feet. So again he says, "It's OK, S. You're doing fine! Good girl...almost done now" I swear I must've been turning blue by then, because for at least 30 seconds I couldn't get a breath. The shit felt like it was blocking my nose, as well. Then it happened. A dizzy, nauseas feeling, stirring in my head and stomach. I leaned forward, tray still in my mouth, unable to breath, gazing at him with pleading eyes, a he patted me on my back telling me I was doing great, and I vomited in his lap. Needless to say, he took that fucking tray out of my mouth. It serves him right.

The look on his face was classic. Maybe next time he'll get a clue when his patient is suffocating in the chair that he put too much fucking goop.


  1. I hate the dentist's. I honestly have a genuine fear of them, can't stand the smell, the seats, definitely can't stand anyone prodding near my teeth. I need to have a filling done but I'm on a three month waiting list for sedation, since they're worried I'll bite off the dentist's fingers otherwise.

  2. Bunny,

    When I was a little girl, I loved going to the dentist. Kind of an oxymoron when I say I only liked going to him because he gave me candy if I had no cavities, which I never did. As I got older, and stopped getting candy that place terrified me. I think hospitals bother me a lot more. Same idea. The smells, the tables with that paper on it, and lots and lots of sick and dying people. I've had absolutely no good experiences in hospitals.

  3. bucking frilliant post!!! i giggled myself silly- what a jerk!!!

  4. Angel,
    I'm sure he's learned his lesson. Let this be a lesson to all the dentists that don't listen to their patients.


  5. Heehee. i saw that movie. twas good.

  6. The dentists are victims of fear, prosecution, and little children with sore teeth and cavities. Otherwise, they're just like us.
    Except they give pain to people in pain. That's the only difference.