Saturday, November 3, 2007

Please Allow me to Introduce Myself

What is it with following temptation and then feeling guilty afterward?

I'm not usually a person that feels sorry for my actions after I did them. I can usually smile through things with no qualms and push them out of my mind afterward with no qualms either.

So why on earth am I feeling so nasty and dirty right now? It's so not in my nature. I don't want a guilty conscience, but I don't want to stop the things I do either. I'm not going to write about what I did...I'd rather forget, even though the memory won't let me this minute.

On top of that, I'm falling for someone. Someone other than the person I was with. Is it really terrible, nasty and dirty to close your eyes and think of someone else during the throws of passion?

Help. :(


  1. always said you were a whore and you just confirmed it. thank you.

  2. The answer to your last question is that it's not unusual for us humans to experience a fantasy about a person other than the one we’re with. The mind is our most powerful sex organ.

    As for guilt, most of us have guilt button implanted in us and programmed by our parents, teachers, religions, society, etc. Depending on how deeply imbedded those buttons are, many harmless things can trigger them. It often takes a lot of self-learning to gain control of those buttons.

    Last statement. I think it was Peter McWilliams who wrote these very true words: “Guilt is anger directed at ourselves—at what we did or did not do, even at what we thought about doing.”

  3. nick said it beautifully!

    and anonymous- get a friggin hobby!

  4. Anon, I know I answered you already, but, fuck you again. :)

    Nick, your comment really did help me feel better. Thanks, a lot.

    Angel, he really did. And just say fuck you, to anonymous. It made me feel better. :P

  5. Anonymous is evidently one of those ones who doesn't have sex, except when his/her parents and preacher say that it is morally just.

    Honestly, random sex encounters can be just that. I don't do casual sex myself, by my own definition, but there's nothing wrong with two people enjoying each other.

    Take a nice hot shower and relax, grab a glass of wine, and think about something or someone else for a bit. You'll feel better in no time.

    Oh, and anonymous, if you're going to call anyone a whore I'm probably the only one who's had sex for rent money, so you'd be better aiming it at me.

  6. What the fuck is it with these anonymous commentators!?!?! Fucking cowards.

    I also agree with what Nick had to say. Seems to be a pretty smart man.

  7. Anon,
    Fuck you.

    I pretty much did what you said. A long hot shower is a good thing. You don't feel your tears that way. I didn't have wine but I did have eggnog. :D

    Glugster, I get all the winners on my blog when it comes to anons. I like what Nick wrote, as well. He sort of put things in prospective.

  8. We've all got skeletons. Some of us are too cowardly to admit to them to even ourselves, let alone perfect cyber space strangers. Anon, you need to remember, those who live in glass houses . . . . cliche? Yep and I don't really care - I'm standing by it.

    Saintly Nick is wise. Eloquently said.

  9. Don't feel guilty! You only live once and even then life is short.

    It is normal to thik of another while screwing someone else so don't let it bother you.

  10. ummm that would be think...not thik. My bad!

  11. no. youre a whore. people like u are the reason that women have to watch their husbands just like that man in iraq u were trying to get with. even if ur not getting paid for sex u can be a slut.